Day 13 – A Guilty Pleasure
I have a guilty genre. I will watch anything with animals that eat people. These animals may or may not be genetically modified, released from melting ice caps, or used as metaphors for genocide. I don’t care as long as they eat people. The pinnacle of these films is, obviously, Anaconda. Not only does it star a bunch of pretty ok actors that act in a pretty ok way (JLo! Ice Cube! Eric Stoltz! Danny Trejo! Owen Wilson!) it also has a big, silly CGI anaconda (voiced by master animal noise maker Frank Welker)! And a guy gets stung by a super wasp in the throat! It’s the silliest of movies and therefore I love it. And let nobody forget the supreme absurdity of Jon Voight’s performance. Is he Cajun? Russian? Martian? I don’t know, I don’t care. The scene where he is eaten by the snake and then regurgitated only to taunt JLo some more is one of the best scenes in movie history. Some genius on IMDb put up this quote from Voight, “Eet wraps eetz COILS around yooo… .TIGHTAH zan anny luvvah.” If that’s not a guilty pleasure I don’t know what is.
- I could have also picked Deep Blue Sea very easily. Smart sharks! The best Sam Jackson performance! LL Cool J! A parrot! An ending stolen directly from Jaws!
- Anacondas: the Hunt for the Blood Orchid is almost as good as the first film. It doesn’t have the star cast but the snake orgy at the end makes up for it. Ball of snakes!
- Anaconda trailer ahoy!