The Wood of Many Doors: a test

Here’s the deal. I’ve been writing this short story for about a month now. Well, I’ve had the idea for a month and I started writing it then but I only finished it today. Well, I only finished the first draft today. But I think that draft is pretty good. Maybe. I don’t know. So in lieu of posting the full, unedited piece here for you to read I’m only going to post the first three paragraphs, unedited. Any feedback would be wonderful. You can leave them in a comment for me. I promise I won’t cry if you hate it. Or at least I won’t cry for long. If you have something to say about the style or the writing or whatever, please let me know. We’re only here to get better, right?

The boy was just like you or me. He grew up in a house where his parents loved him and he hated them. He went to school and learned some things and forgot others. He hung out with friends and liked to spend time alone. He had a few girlfriends but none of them would be his wife. He had a dog that, like all dogs, lived only to make the boy’s life better. And he did a good job of it. The boy went to college and moved out of his parents’ house, as you do. He stayed up for hours on end to discuss religion and movies and girls. He had a few more girlfriends and some one night stands but, again, none of them would be his wife. He graduated and found an office job shortly afterwards. He performed admirably but would never set the business world ablaze. He dated a few more girls and finally began to see one for a longer time. The girl, too, was just like you or me.

The boy and the girl had been dating for a long time. They went to plays and read the same books. They hung out with friends and liked to spend time alone together. They had a dog who lived only to make their lives better. And he did a good job of it. They had moved in with each other, as you do. They went to bed at the same time and were content. They would get married soon and start a family. They grew older and grew together and became the man and the woman.

One day, the man took the dog for a walk. The woman liked to walk around the neighborhood and the man liked to walk in the woods behind their small house. The man and his dog walked these woods often and they both felt like they knew all of its secrets. The rabbit warrens, the little streams that bubble into other streams that flow into others, the best places to stop and be still for a minute. It was a place they could both go to and think and explore and be with each other, separate from everybody else. This day, though, there was something new in the woods. A few minutes into their journey the dog sniffed at a bit of thread mostly hidden under some leaves. The man noticed the dog’s new interest and crouched down beside it to investigate with his friend. The bit of thread was red and frayed at one end. The other end disappeared among the leaves and seemed to go on for quite a ways. The man pulled on the rope and found a bit of give before it pulled taut and began to disturb the leaves that hid the rest of its length. He decided to follow it.

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2 thoughts on “The Wood of Many Doors: a test

  1. I’m in!

    A few editing notes:

    -ditch the two instances of “as you do”–they fuck up the flow (chorus be damned)

    -there’s a bit of pronoun confusion in the first paragraph, regarding the boy and the dog; to avoid this, I would ditch the sentence, “And he did a good job of it.”

    -you reveal the thread twice; changing the line to “the dog sniffed at something hidden under leaves” would rectify this

    Now, how much would it cost me to read the rest?

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